Broke Girl Summer

I remember my first trip to London. I had an eight hour layover. After navigating trains and luggage storage,  those eight hours pared down to two. I had done zero research but I knew I wanted to see Borough Market and after that I just followed my gut and wandered. 

They ended up being two of the best hours of my life.

Over the next year, as I would tell people about my trip, they would incredulously ask me things like, “You didn’t try  fish and chips?!” or “Why didn’t you see Big Ben?!” I hadn’t even thought of that. I felt so silly. I squandered my one chance. Had I done it all wrong?!

Fast forward through a dozen more trips, and I would find myself asking that question many times.

Borough Market in London

For the past five years, I’ve lived in Spain and traveled to places I never dreamed I would (Croatia, Scotland,  Morocco to name a few). I can’t believe this is my reality; I feel ridiculously privileged. But with each trip (especially the solo ones) I’m confronted by two gnarly beasts: travel envy and a general aversion to being alone.

I figured I can’t be the only one. So I’ve gathered all the bits of wisdom that have helped me over the years to humbly offer them to you.

Here are my top four tips for traveling without the emotional baggage of envy and loneliness:

#1: It doesn’t have to be expensive.

Some of us were taught that travel is an extravagance reserved for the rich, but let this be your friendly neighborhood reminder that travel is not synonymous with expensive. Please don’t let that lie hold you back from planning a trip. Just because your cousin went to Rome, visited every museum, and stayed in a five-star hotel doesn’t mean you have to. I officially give you permission to travel in whatever style or to whatever location you can afford.

I also officially acquit you of the guilt of spending money on travel. Years ago, a mentor challenged me to see travel as an investment rather than a luxury; that was some of the best advice I’ve ever received. Travel teaches you about yourself and the world around you. A fantastic ROI, if you ask me.

There are so many more, but these are some practical tips for cost-friendly travel:

• Pack light. Checked bags can be incredibly expensive. Whenever possible, I fly with just a carry-on.

• Repeat outfits. Do you really need a new wardrobe for this trip or a new outfit every day? Answering no may put some money back in your pocket.

• Consider a hostel instead of a traditional hotel. (Yes, even as a woman. Yes, even traveling alone.) A small padlock and some common sense will go far. More on this later.

• Postcards and photos make great, inexpensive souvenirs. Plus they pack well!

• Find free or inexpensive activities to do. Think cafes, libraries, parks, cathedrals, and bookstores. It all depends on what you enjoy.

Which leads me to my second point…

#2: You don’t have to do anyone else’s vacation !!!

You’re not going on a trip to impress people, prove anything, or earn points. Well…maybe you are; but I advise against it. Ask yourself what you want out of this trip. Relaxation? Time with a loved one? The chance to see a fascinating piece of history? Only you can answer the question, but find your why and you’ll have a much better time than you would checking all the things off the must-see list you found on TikTok.

I went to Florence last year and I didn’t go to a single museum or gallery. I know. I know! But I’m not a big museum girly. They stress me out because I feel like there will be a test at the end.

You know what I did instead?

• Drank a bomb coffee at a local no-frills cafe and watched a nonna greet the owner on her morning walk

• Drank a bomb coffee in a trendy yes-frills cafe

• Went to a bakery I had been following online for months

• Spent hours in a bookstore-slash-movie theater-slash-café and watched The Grand Budapest Hotel (for free!)

• Took pictures at sunset from the Piazzale Michelangelo

• Ate dinner with a friend

• Sat on the beach and on the grass and in the plaza and people-watched

• Bought a leather bag and got my initials engraved into it

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Florence, Italy

It might not seem glamorous, but it was right for me and I loved it.

#3: You can do it alone.

For a long time, I dreaded solo travel. I wouldn’t do research for a trip until I had someone to go with me because I HATED being alone. It’s still not my favorite, but I’ve learned to do it and enjoy it and you can too.

• First things first, do things you enjoy alone back home or that lend themselves to solo activity. For me, it’s a park with a journal and my camera. For you, it might be a nice café with a book or a bar with live music.

• Force people to be around you. I’ve enjoyed day-long guided tours where they take you out of the city into nature, but there are shorter tours too. The great thing about these is that you get the iconic sights while technically not being alone, but you also don’t have to talk to anyone if you don’t want to. Plus a few times I’ve hit it off and made a friend on tours like these.

• Give yourself daily goals or challenges. It could be finding a postcard with a lighthouse on it for your mom or taking a picture of the sunset in a different spot each day. Giving yourself goals will alleviate the awkwardness of being alone because you have a purpose to set your mind to.

• Plan a video call during your trip. It could be your best friend, S.O., or your mom, but this way you’re sharing the experience with someone who will celebrate it in the moment with you.

Safety

I’ve found that the safer I feel, the more I relax, and the more I enjoy myself. I believe  you can avoid a lot of trouble just by staying sharp and not being in the wrong place at the wrong time. Some fundamentals:

• If an area is dark and eerily quiet, avoid it.

• If it’s crowded and chaotic, keep your hands on your valuables and the openings of your bags at all times. Make it harder for the pickpocketers.

• If a stranger’s acting really friendly, you can be kind, but you don’t need to trust them with jack squat of your possessions, personal info, or personal space.

• As the saying goes, if it smells like trout, get out!

#4: Allow yourself to be a tourist

I realize this isn’t universal, but I struggle with this after living in tourist-heavy cities the past five years. I’ve developed a distaste for tourists crowding the sidewalks and stopping in the bike lanes to snap pictures. So much so that I don’t want to be “that tourist” when I’m traveling. But you know what? I need to get over it.

There’s something lovely about the awe in a tourist’s eyes when they land on the buildings you pass every day. There’s something sweet about friends laughing in the middle of the sidewalk because they’re on vacation while you’re on your morning commute. I don’t want to let the wonder inside of me be replaced with grumbling.

So if, while you’re traveling, you see a funny exotic sign or a funky building and you want to take a picture, but you hesitate because it would be uncool to stop and take a picture, be uncool. How many times are you going to get the chance to be uncool in Germany or Spain or wherever you’re traveling?

As a wise stranger once told me on vacation, “Honey, you’re never going to see me again. Don’t be embarrassed. Take as many pictures as you want!” Then my best friend took the picture below.

Real Alcazar - Seville, Spain

In conclusion, what makes a good adventure?

I’ve decided it’s no longer the approval of others. Instead, I ask myself these five questions during and after a trip to ensure that it is a “good” trip.